How to Stop Worrying and Overcome Anxiety

As an overthinker, I’ve always been afraid of certain things. The fear of not doing justice to others, not being able to master things, or simply dying because of… I don’t know. The peak was reached when I was my own boss, didn’t have much money and my customers did not pay me. I had tremendous financial worries and existential fears. I was constantly stressed, which means nothing less than constantly scared. This led to burnout.

Unfortunately, I did not visited a psychologist, which I do not recommend. I tried to get out of it by myself. I did it, but it took way too long to be proud of. But i learned a lot. Here are my tips against fear and worry.

Will it happen?

How often do we worry about things that will never happen? Incredibly often! It’s shocking how many fears and worries we produce every day, only to find out that they never happen or if they do, they’re not nearly as bad as we thought.

I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Mark Twain

So always ask yourself how likely it is that your worries will come true and if so, how badly things will turn out. If something is very unlikely or you can’t do anything about it anyway, your worries are pointless. You’re just ruining your happiness.

Already thought through to the end?

Dale Carnegies book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living helped me immensely. I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have made it out of burnout without the book. And it may have prevented even worse.

I learned through the book that we carry around fears that are real and can happen. However, we never really take the time to deal with it. It is difficult for us to simply think through the fear from beginning to end. We’d rather keep trying to bury them alive. But they always come back to the surface.

If I have fears today, I take my time and deal with them. I think carefully about the following:

1. What’s the worst that can happen?
2. What would I do if this happens? How would I feel?
3. How can I prepare myself for this?
4. Is there anything I can do to prevent this? Can I seek a conversation? Someone, to help me?

I also learned one thing for myself and not from the book. The insider tip, so to speak. I’ve often noticed that pretty much all of my fears and those of others are related to people. Often behind our fear is the fear of making a bad impression on other people (boss, partner, parents, friends, society). And unfortunately, we build up this fear because we always make the same mistake: We don’t talk to the source of our worries.

The best soil for fear is uncertainty.

Peter Schuhknecht

Ich hatte in meiner Selbständigkeit oft Angst davor, was meine Kunden über meine Dienste In my job, I’ve often been afraid of what my clients think of my services. Until I just asked. I asked if they were happy with me or if they had any advice on how I could improve. This is the ultimate fear killer. And in most cases, not only does the fear go away, but you also get great feedback or a suggestion on how to get even better. So, the insider tip: talk!