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Everyone has their demons. The big difference is some surrender to them, and others don’t.

Where one suffers and isn’t in control of his demons, the other can see them clearly and take care of them. That person is aware and knows what is happening. This person can explain himself, avoid negative situations, and achieve the highest goal: Becoming the observer of its thoughts and emotions. See, but don’t fall for it. The observer watches but does not live in the thoughts and feelings. Stepping out of these things is the most significant step we can master in life.

We all have those demons—these small and large, oh-so-important thoughts and emotions. But if we let them pass like clouds and watch, our bliss is unaffected.

No person is free from negative things. But most people have completely surrendered to them. They are what they think and feel. A thought is done, and the next one is just waiting to be attached. And they easily live inside them all day long. It’s like trying to be what you see, smell, or touch all the time. We fall into our thoughts and emotions because they are far more powerful than our other senses.

Life is letting things go, letting them be – not sticking to them. Life is becoming the observer and being aware.

I always take the approach of reading over some reviews to figure out if a book fits me. After many people recommended Henry David Thoreau’s Walden, I tried it. This book got more and more attention in recent years, and I was trying to figure out why. And the reviews were promising.

It was hitting the spot in the beginning, I must say. There have been some excellent socio-critical statements. And this surprised me. On the one hand, because the book was written a long time ago, on the other hand, because these statements were surprisingly direct and honest.

But then there was a problem. Thoreau could not „step out“ of these repetitive complaints about society. It felt he was suffering all the time but just dealt with it by blaming people constantly. I did not see the growth I was expecting to be honest. After the first view pages, I had enough. I checked the pages further back in the book and found out; the whole book is a never-ending complaint.

I expected something different. I imagined living in the forest let you mature a bit. Grow out of blaming others into understanding and compassion. Unfortunately, this never happened to him.

When I read the reviews, I thought he was living in a bit of shed deep in a forest. But reading the book, I was given another perspective. He wrote his neighbors were a mile away, which was more the standard than the rarity in Massachusetts of 1854. And I am pretty sure the average countryside person lived much further away from society than he did.

Somehow, this book’s essential topic reminds me of my favorite philosophical book which is Seneca’s Dialogues and Essays. It addresses the same problems, just thousand something years before. And Seneca hits the spot by describing society-based difficulties and, most importantly, learning from them. He sees the issues, understands them, and uses them to live better. I think Thoreau missed the two last points. In Seneca’s book, people may find what they are looking for in Thoreaus‘.

As an overthinker, I’ve always been afraid of certain things. The fear of not doing justice to others, not being able to master things, or simply dying because of… I don’t know. The peak was reached when I was my own boss, didn’t have much money and my customers did not pay me. I had tremendous financial worries and existential fears. I was constantly stressed, which means nothing less than constantly scared. This led to burnout.

Unfortunately, I did not visited a psychologist, which I do not recommend. I tried to get out of it by myself. I did it, but it took way too long to be proud of. But i learned a lot. Here are my tips against fear and worry.

Will it happen?

How often do we worry about things that will never happen? Incredibly often! It’s shocking how many fears and worries we produce every day, only to find out that they never happen or if they do, they’re not nearly as bad as we thought.

I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.

Mark Twain

So always ask yourself how likely it is that your worries will come true and if so, how badly things will turn out. If something is very unlikely or you can’t do anything about it anyway, your worries are pointless. You’re just ruining your happiness.

Already thought through to the end?

Dale Carnegies book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living helped me immensely. I’ll be honest, I wouldn’t have made it out of burnout without the book. And it may have prevented even worse.

I learned through the book that we carry around fears that are real and can happen. However, we never really take the time to deal with it. It is difficult for us to simply think through the fear from beginning to end. We’d rather keep trying to bury them alive. But they always come back to the surface.

If I have fears today, I take my time and deal with them. I think carefully about the following:

1. What’s the worst that can happen?
2. What would I do if this happens? How would I feel?
3. How can I prepare myself for this?
4. Is there anything I can do to prevent this? Can I seek a conversation? Someone, to help me?

I also learned one thing for myself and not from the book. The insider tip, so to speak. I’ve often noticed that pretty much all of my fears and those of others are related to people. Often behind our fear is the fear of making a bad impression on other people (boss, partner, parents, friends, society). And unfortunately, we build up this fear because we always make the same mistake: We don’t talk to the source of our worries.

The best soil for fear is uncertainty.

Peter Schuhknecht

Ich hatte in meiner Selbständigkeit oft Angst davor, was meine Kunden über meine Dienste In my job, I’ve often been afraid of what my clients think of my services. Until I just asked. I asked if they were happy with me or if they had any advice on how I could improve. This is the ultimate fear killer. And in most cases, not only does the fear go away, but you also get great feedback or a suggestion on how to get even better. So, the insider tip: talk!